Carols for the Mentally Ill

For the...

Schizophrenic? Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disordered? We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Amnesiac? I Don't Know if I'll Be Home for Christmas

Narcissist? Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic? Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and....

Paranoiac? Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me

Borderline Personality Disordered? Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Passive-Aggressive? You Better Watch out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Social Anxiety Disordered? Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

And finally, for the Obsessive-Compulsive:
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
...Better Now, One More Time!