Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Unexpected pang

I had a miscarriage in the summer of 1999. We weren't trying to have any more children, in fact had decided our family was complete, so the baby was a surprise, and we had barely adjusted to the idea of the pregnancy when we lost it.

We have since been blessed with another child, which helped a great deal with the healing, and in fact I don't think about it a lot anymore unless I am reminded (though I did just now realize that our child would be starting kindergarten next year had he or she lived).

The other night I was watching "The Cider House Rules," based on John Irving's book. One subplot is a doctor who runs an orphanage and does illegal abortions on the side because he feels it's better not to bring yet more unwanted children into the world.

Having lost a child who was not asked for but wanted nonetheless, suddenly it hit me what a terrible loss an abortion is, whether those involved know it or not. At last, my disagreement with abortion is no longer just a head thing, but a heart thing as well.

1 comment:

Steven said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I've never been in that situation, nor would I want to be. You should be thankful you have the strength and courage to come through and still have another beautiful child - some don't.

Reading through your blog, you sound like an amazing person. Thats nice to see in such a fickle world. :-)