It's that day again

and here I thought the Google team had forgotten, until I saw Gmail Motion.




And then there's YouTube's Century of Viral Videos:

And in other news, George R.R. Martin's Dance with Dragons is so huge and cumbersome that Bantam plans to split it into 5 smaller volumes, a Google Autocompleter weighs in, and Weinstein Co. has nabbed the highly sought after movie rights to popular nursery rhymes like Little Bo Peep and Three Blind Mice.

If you need help talking to your kids about...

Star Wars.

Love the Yoda baby hat.

Professor Elemental on how we murder the Queen's English here in the Colonies

Obviously a sign of end times approaching.

Church story

The offering plate was passing, but it stopped with my son. He held it in one hand while digging furiously around in his clothes with the other, trying to find his offering which I knew he had brought. We waited. We all waited. Finally, he dropped some cash in the plate and passed it on.

Turns out that he was WEARING HIS PAJAMAS under his slacks, and his offering was in the pajama pocket. Inside his slacks. In church.

I'm still not sure how he got it out of there without disrobing right there in the pew.

BREAKING NEWS:

BREAKING NEWS:Facebook is down. Worker productivity rises. U.S. climbs out of recession.


(via about 40,000,000 people on Twitter)

#rockretractions: You shook me for a very short portion of the evening

Thursday saw a hilarious trending topic on Twitter: #rockretractions. Here are some examples:

djackmanson   
While I am willing to perform dirty deeds, the price is quite high, commensurate with my experience and discretion\#RockRetractions

LadyMac5511 

  

#rockretractions Lovin' a music man was a complete & utter mistake and I am *not* going to stand by you anymore.

juzzytribune 

  

I prefer ladies to have a somewhat smaller bottom than I initially proclaimed. #rockretraction

tmlrnz 

  

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man! Knock it off! #RockRetractions

sfbox 

  

Actually we built this city on old slave worksongs and Irish folk jigs #rockretractions


juzzytribune 

  

She actually blinded me with Intelligent Design. Only temporarily, though #rockretractions

yomamanonymous 

  

Hey, you, feel free to come join me on this cloud. It turns out there is plenty of room. #rockretractions

tmlrnz 

  

Maggie May, I can't even look at you right now. We'll talk later. #RockRetractions

tmlrnz 

  

We are the sultans of pre-renaissance antiphonal choir music. #RockRetractions

m00finsan 

  

On second thought, we will take it. #RockRetractions

JonnySoul90210 

  

Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head. Pulled the trigger. Now he's dead. Wait He's fine. Just woke up. #rockretractions

mellowghost 

  

Ok, so technically she blinded me with pepper spray; but what invented pepper spray? That's right, science.#rockretractions

GothchicComic According to this map, these streets are all named. #rockretractions

The kind of friends I have

This juxtaposition of posts on my Facebook feed beautifully demonstrates the range of friends I have.

Five is the Guy Number

This morning my 16-year-old son had an epiphany. He said that most of the really pivotal moments in a guy's life usually start with 5 words.

• I can win her back.
• I can trust you guys.
• Poke it with a stick.
• I can jump that far.
• I am not that drunk.
• I don't need this job.

Heh.

For the Conspiracy Theorists Out There:

At last: The Government admits it - tinfoil hats work!

I just received our i-Pass (for our travels over the toll roads back East this summer). It came wrapped in tin foil, I presume to keep it from being scanned and charged on the mail trucks. I didn't even realize the significance of this, but Barry did: It's government admission that wrapping stuff in tinfoil protects us from alien brain waves. So everybody get out there and make those tinfoil hats.

Birthday present from Britta

Britta gave me my birthday present a little early. It's this great government-issued official Zombie Survival poster, which I can put where I can easily see it from my desk for quick reference. Just in case. Because you just never know.

April Foolishness 2010

A roundup of springtime trickery from around the Interweb.

First, my email this morning contained this amazing offer from TFAW.com:



Failbooking got me with this moderately funny one.

And finally,

Oooooh! I missed one! What if they finally made that Halo movie everybody has been waiting for... in Bollywood?

April Fool's Day tricks seemed a bit scarce on the Web today, which means either people are too busy to be coming up with good ones or (more likely) I was completely duped by them and didn't notice.

Update: As an example of the latter, I was horrified at Lil Guildies and very thankful to find out that it's not real.

Twitter trending topic: Books in 10 Words or Less

#booksin10wordsorless 

This is a fun one. I have a couple on there but some people are masters at it, like JoseMolinaTV:  

JoseMolinaTV "Cujo" - This mangy mongrel couldn't eat me if I had OnStar. #booksin10wordsorless

A comment on the CNN story about an earthquake near Chicago this morning:

Guest

I think the lord is taking a nap... To whomever he left in charge; check the instructions manual: Earthquakes-California, Blizzards-Midwest, Hurricanes-Carribean, Politicians-DC... Please don't smite me, just trying to keep you out of trouble with the Big Guy.

link to original story

My house is soooooo dirty.

I need a maid.

Courtesy of Adam Baldwin

The Life Cycle of the Bean

As illustrated by my son. Click to embiggen.

Just how amazing is this kid??

Suspension of Disbelief

Erik Evan has compiled a list of The 50 Laws of Science Fiction Physics over on his Kunochan blog. Absolutely worth reading.

Here's a taste:

Doctrine of Hostile Alien Tourism: when technologically advanced spacefaring aliens initiate a war or invasion against the Earth, their first strategic maneuver will be to destroy a number of famous human landmarks, usually ones with no strategic or defensive value.

Lightsaber 101

Now tell me it has never occurred to you that maybe it was a bad idea to hand a farmboy a lightsaber in a small room and let him turn it on and wave it around a little.

Interceptorizer! It works!